Grey divorce refers to {couples} aged 50 and older. Divorces embody authorized, emotional, and monetary points. To supply details about essential monetary subjects to grey divorce {couples} and their grownup youngsters, I just lately spoke to Lili Vasileff, a licensed divorce monetary analyst, mediator, and litigation divorce monetary professional, practitioner, author, and creator of books on divorce, together with Cash & Divorce: The Important Roadmap to Mastering Monetary Selections printed by the American Bar Affiliation.
CH: Why are we listening to extra about grey divorce?
LV: Amongst adults aged 50 and older, the divorce charge has doubled since 1990, and for these 65 and older, it has tripled. The rise in breakup charges is especially first marriages, and greater than 55 % happen with {couples} married for greater than 20 years. Researchers predict that by 2030 the divorce charge for the grey divorce inhabitants will triple.
CH: Out of your perspective, why is grey divorce thought of an ideal monetary storm?

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LV: Divorce shouldn’t be solely in regards to the regulation and funds. Feelings overlay your entire panorama of divorce. And, typically, the older you might be, the extra financially sophisticated divorce is. Relying in your age bracket, adults over 50 face lots of challenges, which can embody:
- Demanding jobs or having been out of the workforce for a very long time
- Lowered financial cushions
- School tuition payments for his or her grownup youngsters
- Grownup boomerang youngsters
- Blended households
- Longer life expectations
- Skyrocketing well being prices
- Inexperience with funds
- Accountability for caring for elder dad and mom
Further circumstances that may add to this storm are:
- Keep-at-home spouses are sometimes financially dependent; they threat being impoverished or outliving their property.
- {Couples} 50 years and older could have substantial debt, expertise vital market volatility, and endure shrinking fairness, complicating monetary safety.
- Some could have to take decreased social safety advantages for a money stream that meets dwelling bills.
- They’ve an extended life expectancy.
- Their long-term marriage proved unsustainable, which could be devastating to the couple and complicated to grownup youngsters, mates, and household.
- Grownup youngsters could rely financially on their dad and mom, which stretches sources.
It’s crucial to grab the chance to deal with important considerations and potential contingencies with ahead pondering in the course of the divorce course of.
CH: What’s the primary fear of divorcing {couples} 50 and older?
LV: Not having the ample money stream to satisfy dwelling bills. For older ladies of divorce, cash ranks because the primary concern, even topping their considerations for his or her youngsters. For males, cash is usually as vital a stressor as their emotions of isolation and loneliness.
CH: How do grey divorce {couples} expertise massive monetary surprises?
LV: Sadly, in most marriages, the shortage of communication about cash can create many monetary surprises throughout a divorce.
In 2019, CNBC reported that 16 % of respondents mentioned they regard their partner as a monetary function mannequin, 27 % hardly ever talk about private funds with members of the family, and fewer than half (45 %) make monetary selections in partnership with one other family member.
Nearly 50 % disagree on when to retire or what their way of life shall be throughout retirement. Including divorce to this combine makes for an explosive monetary actuality.
CH: What subjects can comprise this explosive awakening?
LV: Grey divorce {couples} who’ve by no means dealt as a pair with funds are actually required to make monetary selections that influence them for the remainder of their lives with solely half of their marital property and finite earnings. They might face:
- Historical past of poor or no communication about monetary circumstances
- Being on the cusp of retirement
- Mismatched expectations for when to retire and what they need for his or her retirement way of life that their divorce could have crushed.
- Restricted potential for higher incomes capability
- A shorter time-frame to replenish property divided within the divorce
- Lack of information about spousal help tips
- Inadequate information of financial savings and retirement planning
- Concern over well being points
- The potential disparity in values regarding accountability for grownup youngsters and aged dad and mom
CH: Wow. I used to be an A pupil in math, however as a non-financial skilled, I’m overwhelmed by what you have got shared up to now. You’ve listed so many issues. What are the important considerations and potential contingencies?
LV: Nearly one-third of all households age 55 plus have neither retirement nor financial savings accounts. For older ladies, the lack of collected wealth and earnings is harshest if they’ve been out of the workforce for a major interval.
Monetary safety, well being care, and money stream are the important thing goals to deal with in grey divorce, and so they take preparation, planning, and execution.
CH: What considerations have you ever seen amongst grownup youngsters of grey divorce {couples}?
LV: Typically, grownup youngsters have considerations in regards to the post-divorce existence of 1, if not each, dad and mom. A few of their worries are:
- Does every guardian have expertise, information, and functionality to handle their funds post-divorce?
- Will every guardian be financially impartial?
- Will they be susceptible to scams, pricey errors, predators, or different members of the family?
- Are they depressed or fearful?
- Are they leaping into new relationships too quickly?
In my upcoming posts on this collection, Lili and I’ll talk about actions grey divorcing {couples} can take.
To discover a therapist, please go to the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
Copyright 2023 Carol R. Hughes, Ph.D.